FOOTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t get enough of this thrilling action!!! But there always has to be SOMEONE to ruin the fun. Let me tell you, as a footy diehard if there is one thing I can’t tolerate is people who don’t “get it”. If you don’t get footy, then get out of my country!!!
So today my man Lou Sweezy who as we all know plays for Marvingaye, was in a hard fought battle with Italian Georgey Tortellini. And if there is one thing we all know it’s that this is a game for MEN. These are TOUGH, PHYSICAL battles out there that simply aren’t for the faint of heart. In fact, here is a perfect example of how ruthless the game can get:
Just BRUTAL. But that’s how footy can be. So sometimes being the mensch that Lou Sweezy is, you have to be more mensch than the rest. And when punches and kicks just won’t do, you go to the bite! Hey, is it Sweezy’s fault that Tortellini sounded delicious at that time?! Yet everyone wants to BLAME Sweezy. IDIOTS, you just CLEARLY don’t get footy!! So annoying!
My buddy Gavin and I were talking about it the other day with our new friends we met in an online footy chat, Ethan and Mario, about how stupid these bandwagon fans are and how they don’t get footy and they never will! And like we were all saying it isn’t just footy! Domestic beer, Radiohead, using your Segway without wearing a helmet, like why are these things so tough for people to understand?!
But they’re stupid and they’ll never understand! They don’t get why it is so tough for the Americans and the Portuguese to play in a blistering hot 84 degrees and why it is so vital to take a water break. They don’t get why it is so difficult for my man Crissy Ronaldo to come within 15 of the net on a breakaway. Like lay off him IDIOTS he hardly had anywhere to place the ball, the American goaltender had no holes! I mean it was BASICALLY like a whale in front of doggy door.
But I can’t let these IDIOTS and MORONS ruin my footy for me. Diving is just a part of the culture. Water breaks in the middle of a game is just a part of the culture. Cannibalism is just a part of the culture. But all these IDIOTS from athletic countries just don’t get it. Stop watching our sport, IDIOTS! Ok, chill. I better go kick back with Gav and a domestic and talk about what different players transfer fees will be.
Follow me on twitter IDIOTS @TJ_Soups